I think Andrewq makes a good suggestion. Why not grab an unsuspecting foreign celebrity and get them to ping a few pongs? the BBC wouldn't dare let a Tony Blair leave his foot in when Drogba was doing a one-two with Gillett the veteran midfield general.
It doesn't have to be a footballer, although there must be plenty of them readily available. There are also plenty of well-known foreign directors, writers, actors, and ... er.... war criminals. We live in a celebrity-culture. Why not play the game and try and capture a bit of publicity? The knack, of course, is finding one that actually has an interest in their culture and music. But one hint of Sting or Stevie Wonder and you could immediately red-card them (think of the publicity!)
But can anyone think of any suitable foreign celebs, that are available and have an aversion to the works of Elton John?