I'd like to request that Gordon track down the old Brazilian surrealist to see if he can get a sensible word out of him. Failing that, one of the long-legged soul sub-divas would do.
I’m always eager to please and, in response to Howard’s request, I managed to get an interview with Tom Ze. To be honest, I went for a long-legged soul diva, at first. But they’re pretty thin on the ground in Fife. Actually, that’s not really true. They’re quite short and stumpy in this part of the world. And even when you do find one, they tend to be surrounded by camera crews, DJs, journalists, and overseas adoption agencies. The usual hangers on.
So I just had to make do with Tom Ze, one of the truly great artists of the past 50 years whose surname starts with ‘z’. An avante-garde artist sometimes compared to Captain Beefheart, he is in fact closer to Frank Zappa, the Zombies, Zager and Evans, and Lena Zavaroni. But quite…. um…. interesting and, contrary to expectations, he doesn’t smell of pee. To be honest, though, I think Howard sold me a pup. Professional jealousy, no doubt. This was the toughest interview I’ve done so far. Still, it’s all good experience. Anyway, here’s the rough transcript. Clearly, I’ll have to do a bit of tidying up. I'd like to think that all of Tom Ze's words were sensible, but just a bit ahead of their time.
TZ Not at all. I’ve enjoyed it very much.
G Er….
TZ Similar to yourself, Socrates used the question as an argumentative tool. In your hands, it is a tiny surgeon’s scalpel and I am alive and dissected by you. Not that this is a cruel act without an objective.
G Um… sorry, I haven’t actually asked you a question yet. This is a bit…. um…….. er…. How small is the surgeon?
TZ I don’t believe that it is important to understand all the references, especially when there are diverse layers of significance, mainly the non-verbal significators, the mythological references, the indirect, the shockingly noticeable.
G Absolutely……….I couldn’t agree more or …. er…..disagree less. Eh…. no, hang on, I’m not sure if I got that the right way round…..er…
TZ I have constructed an instrument made of triggered typewriters, blenders, radios and floor sanders that took up two swarms of bees. The sound was so beautiful that it brought tears to my eyes.
G Actually, my mum said something similar. But…….
TZ I ask you to publish the questions, even though to a certain extent they teach journalism. The reader will be able to see firsthand the art of asking questions with a totally different point of view, and a type of metamorphosis of the different segments
G Er…. Yes… I’ll definitely publish the questions. Definitely. Er… I believe that R&B singer Amerie plays guitar on your new single ‘Take Control’. How did that………Oh, hang on, I’m not sure if I got that the right way round. Er….
TZ I was born alongside an operatic representation which, following in the tradition of the medieval European nobleman, throws out the arabs.
G Er…. Was Spike Jones an important influence?
TZ The ficus leave is not a traditional instrument, but a toy that children play with. I worked with the toy until I was converted into an instrument.
G I mean there are some similarities, although your stuff isn’t as funny.
TZ My music is work and not pleasure for me.
G Me as well.
TZ That attracts me enormously, because musical discourse sustains one’s tensions or, in other words, with dominants, subdominants, modulations etc. The induced harmony provokes a sensation of tension even when we are alone. It invites the listener to ‘correct’ the harmony. Right away the errors become apparent on purpose.
G Er….. so are your CDs a bit cheaper then?
TZ The fact that it is not completed is because I did not hope that I could resolve the complexity of the problems between men and women or, more specifically, I couldn’t reach closure on these problems.
G I believe that you were jailed twice during the sixties by the military junta. Did they not like your records? It seems a bit harsh.
TZ A woman nowadays is slightly suspicious. She is always tense, worried, and confronted with a potential enemy. An attitude created due to the psychological context of this situation in society.
G Eh…. moving on…. I notice that you recent album has….
TZ I am too low to get up, but too high to fall off. I’m making it clear to confuse you. I’m going blind so I can guide.
G Right…… I notice that some of your songs are really short. ‘Um Oh a Um Ah’ is 52 seconds, and ‘Cademar’ is only 45 seconds. Although they seem much longer. It’s quite clever. Sort of like Dr Who’s Tardis. What’s the shortest song that you’ve ever……
TZ I’d just like to apologise in advance. I confess that I am scared at the fury of the questions which you might ask of me.
G Um………
TZ Oh.
G A… um…….
TZ Ah.
G Oh.