Bugger Off BBQ

[Des]

I'm fed up with this barbecue lark. What could be more unpleasant than carcinogenic, particulate-laden, CO2-emitting, obnoxiously smelly fumes being pumped into the air everywhere you go? I'm fed up with being assaulted with the evil-smelling smoke every time I walk on the Bristol Downs or even open my flat window. Worst of all, barbecues are such an unimaginative way of spending your time - I really wonder why us Brits find it so irresistible to eat horrible burnt flesh in the middle of summer? Australia has given us many good things in the past - I mean, who doesn't like Rolf Harris? - but the great British Barbecue is one habit we could well do without.