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The Worst Music In The World... Ever!

PostPosted: Wed Nov 05, 2008 12:25 am
by Adam Blake
Just for fun. What are the Forumistas votes for the worst records ever made?
Criteria has to be that whoever made the record was doing their absolute best.
No "ironic" pretense at being rubbish now. We're talking crass incompetence, non-existent songwriting skills, abominable musicianship, appalling singing - if possible on a major label.

Just to get the ball rolling, off the top of my head I would vote for:

The Shaggs - "My Pal Foot Foot" - which you can hear here:

http://tinyurl.com/5nyjro

Blue Cheer - "Doctor Please"


Sham 69 - "Ulster Boy" - which you can hear here:

http://tinyurl.com/5qfefo


But I'm really curious as to what others think.
(Garth - no votes for any David Bowie record, however bad, will be accepted:))

PostPosted: Wed Nov 05, 2008 12:44 am
by Hugh Weldon
Adam:


(Garth - no votes for any David Bowie record, however bad, will be accepted:))


Garth already, memorably but misguidedly, described Neil Young's Tonights the Night as "unlistenable druggie tosh" earlier today, though I tend to think it's either a 'good bad' record, or in some sort of class of its own.

Oh I dunno on this one, other than lots of awful punk records bought in the mad euphoria of the moment. Chelsea's 'Right to Work'? The Lurker's 'Shadow'. I suppose they were trying their best...

PostPosted: Wed Nov 05, 2008 12:50 am
by Adam Blake
Excellent, Hugh. That's the stuff. I'd forgotten about Chelsea's "Right To Work" and never heard "Shadow" by The Lurkers. Sounds promising! Does anybody remember The Snivelling Shits "Terminal Stupid"? (although I suspect that might have been a bunch of pro's pretending).

And how could I forget "Surfin' Bird" by The Trashmen? Although, their drummer wasn't really bad enough for this list, and their vocalist was inspired, I'd say it was probably the most moronic record I've ever heard.

"Love Me" by The Phantom deserves a place as total incompetence made up for with berserk abandon.
"Hot Lips" by Herbie Duncan also. But we could get sidetracked by punk and rockabilly records here.

There must be a wider net. What's the worst record in your collections?

PostPosted: Wed Nov 05, 2008 8:04 am
by kas
My vote goes to Legendary Stardust Cowboy and 'Who's Knocking On My Door'.
Anytime.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sgq0Fd4UMws

PostPosted: Wed Nov 05, 2008 9:19 am
by Adam Blake
Thank you indeed, Kas. That's exactly the kind of thing I'm looking for.

PostPosted: Wed Nov 05, 2008 11:49 am
by rongould
I doubt if these are available any more, they are terrible, but they all have magnificent Bix Biederbecke solos.

It was a Parlaphone Vinyl called "The Rare Bix" When he was in New York waiting for a Union card Bix played on some record made by song publishers as plugs for their sheet music. The idea was to just demonstrate the tunes and lyrics to shop owners. The songs were unmemorable, the singing dire, the arrangements lamentable and yet they are some of my favourite tracks.

The best being The Love Nest by Hirsch and Harbach, vocal by Martin Hurt. I'll try to find it so that you can all hear, Mr. Hurt, probably the worst singer ever to record.

Thank for the link to Foot Foot, one of my all time faves.

PostPosted: Wed Nov 05, 2008 12:32 pm
by garth cartwright
Haven't we been here before, Adam? I recall nominating the 3rd Oasis album and 2nd Stone Roses - both on major labels, both tuneless and pompous and badly recorded by very average musicians with egos inflated by too much coke and media hype.

Blue Cheers and The Shags and such are art brut of sorts - the book Songs In The Key Of Z by Irwin Chusid celebrates outsider music ie that made by those with learning difficulties and is a great read. Someone like Daniel Johnson - who is discussed in the book - makes music that is not easy on the ear but I enjoy hearing him sing about Casper the friendly ghost (in small amounts).

A record like Harvest Moon - cliched, sickly sweet, badly sung, calculated to get some dosh from those nostalgic for Harvest, all done by a "major artist", now that strikes me as a genuinely awful record. I'm sure we could nominate other "worst" albums by those who once were great. What is the worst Stones album? Undercover or Dirty Work? The worst Lennon album? Double Fantasy or the double political rhetoric one? Worst Zappa? So many to choose from! People who once had talent squandering it strikes me as much harder to listen to than the oddball efforts of the genuinely bizarre.

PostPosted: Wed Nov 05, 2008 12:42 pm
by Charlie
kas wrote:My vote goes to Legendary Stardust Cowboy and 'Who's Knocking On My Door'.
Anytime.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sgq0Fd4UMws

agreed about the artist, but surely its B-side 'Paralyzed' is worse (or better, in the context of this thread.) So hard to believe that the teenage T-Bone Burnett was involved in producing this demented frenzy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9cq-9BSiHdY

IN contrast to Garth's suggested thread topic, this belongs among the 'worst records' by those who got much better later

PostPosted: Wed Nov 05, 2008 2:22 pm
by taiyo no otosan
My vote goes to the fabulously trying Blousons Noirs...doing this kind of thing a decade before The Shaggs...and in French too!

Read here:

http://blog.wfmu.org/freeform/2007/06/m ... ad_di.html

Listen, if you must, here:

http://blogfiles.wfmu.org/BL/2007/06/Le ... terise.mp3

PostPosted: Wed Nov 05, 2008 2:40 pm
by Jamie Renton
I think I'm with Garth on this.

A while back a downloaded a compilation called "I Hate CDs" a collection of inept rockabilly, mangey blues, rancid 60s garage band & putrid punk. Pretty well all of it is "bad" music by any technical definition & yet I've heard little that has given me so much enjoyment all year.

In contrast I've recently been watching some music TV with my kids. James Morisson? Will Young? Now that's BAD Well played, performed & produced but .... just so flippin dull!!

Like the great Geoff Berner once sang "Boredom is the true enemy"

However, if we're talking favouruite "bad" records, I'd like to put a word in for The Novas' "The Crusher", a song that makes "Surfin Bird" sound like something off an early Genisis album.

Do the eye gouge ...

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=YvBN3C2wepY

PostPosted: Wed Nov 05, 2008 2:41 pm
by Nick Boyes
Terry Hall & Mushtaq ' The Hour of Two Lights'

never got to the end of any of the tracks and listening to any of it just makes me angry. It even features Damon Albarn and that **** melodica.
The cd now has some use, scaring the birds off my vegetables

PostPosted: Wed Nov 05, 2008 2:49 pm
by Janet M
For me it has to be the ghastly Sugar Sugar by the Archies followed closely by Chirpy Chirpy Cheep Cheep by (I must have erased the band from my memory for sanity's sake)
Many of the Eurovision horrors must sit in here too

PostPosted: Wed Nov 05, 2008 3:18 pm
by Rob Hall
Janet M wrote:Chirpy Chirpy Cheep Cheep by (I must have erased the band from my memory for sanity's sake)...


...Middle of the Road and, sadly, I didn't have to look that up.

PostPosted: Wed Nov 05, 2008 3:48 pm
by Charlie
Rob Hall wrote:
Janet M wrote:Chirpy Chirpy Cheep Cheep by (I must have erased the band from my memory for sanity's sake)...


...Middle of the Road and, sadly, I didn't have to look that up.

Liked it, played it on the radio at the time it was a hit and wondered what the audience must be thinking. She had a good voice, the lead singer.

PostPosted: Wed Nov 05, 2008 4:01 pm
by Dominic
I love those garage/rockabilly songs and I've got a soft spot for the Lurkers which I know I should have grown out of.

Robert Elms is very fond of proposing Imagine as the worst record of all time - I'm inclined to agree with him, with Hey Jude as second choice.