• Board index ‹ Website Procedures and Archive ‹ Forum Decorum
  • Change font size
  • Print view
  • Home • FAQ • Search • Register • Login

It is currently Wed Apr 25, 2018 3:41 pm

Forum Decorum

Who are we, why are we here?<br>
What's OK and what is not?

Moderators: Charlie, Philip, Alan

Post a reply
27 posts • Page 2 of 2 • 1, 2

Postby Con Murphy » Sun Apr 06, 2008 4:24 pm

I kind of agree with June, it's too much like washing the forum's dirty linen in public, and as onerous and time-consuming a task as it must be at times, I still think the only solution is for you to continue to referee the board as you see fit, Charlie.

You're a reasonable person - more reasonable than most of the rest of us, certainly - so why not just apply a simple rule: no ad hominem attacks (or to maintain the sporting metaphor, play the ball not the wo/man). Any posts that you feel breach that rule should be edited by the poster to take the personal stuff out, or failing that they will be removed completely by yourself. Anybody who posts here does so as your guest, and therefore must respect your decision as to where the line is drawn.

Naturally, some discretion might be expected, eg little digs between two long-serving world music magazine journalists/editors could be seen as less serious than anything that might happen between two complete strangers. The onus, therefore, will be on us posters to think carefully about the way we frame our responses to each other and to try to exercise some restraint if a thread or poster is winding us up.

(Zee, I'm not sure whether this type of board allows an Ignore Thread or Ignore Poster option? Might be worth switching that on, so that members can exercise it anonymously when they find their blood pressure rising. )
Con Murphy
 
Posts: 2202
Joined: Tue Jun 08, 2004 9:41 am
Location: Stoke-Barehills
Top

my inertia is gathering momentum

Postby ritchie » Sun Apr 06, 2008 5:28 pm

I'm with June on this one ....,

On another forum I frequent JC (John Colter, just to avoid any confusion) stated

Is it just me? Whenever my eyes fall on the words "Forum Rules", I think, "Yeah. Damn right it does"?


Self policing is the best idea ... followed by a quote or two of Mark Twain..... or in some cases perhaps Homer Simpson.
ritchie
 
Posts: 652
Joined: Sun Oct 03, 2004 2:55 pm
Location: Gateshead 'in between the angel & the sage'
  • E-mail
Top

Re: Forum Decorum

Postby Jamie Renton » Sun Apr 06, 2008 5:28 pm

Charlie wrote:Which brings me to another point. I've been told that some of my private messages have been passed around between members, and I hope we can all agree that this is not how private messages should work. It's like we're being unwittingly wire-tapped.


Now you know how Avon Barksdale must have felt :-)
Jamie Renton
 
Posts: 3162
Joined: Wed Apr 06, 2005 9:54 pm
Location: Exotic Barnet
  • Website
Top

Postby That Was Jonathan E. Then » Sun Apr 06, 2008 6:02 pm

Bad referee, bad call, bad game — I'm not waiting my three days. I'm off. Perhaps I'll explain my decision in more detail later and, if you're lucky, present an extremely satirical impression of flouncing.

Wait! Let's do the math quickly.

Out: Adam, Judith, Nikki, Norman, and now me.

In: Des.

Nice work if you can get it.

Yes, I'm angry and very, very disappointed in how this went down. It is a strong argument for NEVER using PMs to attempt to resolve anything. I never have liked them. I believe things should be done out in the open where all can see and have equal access to information. Sunshine is the best disinfectant — now you have a festering sore.
That Was Jonathan E. Then
 
Posts: 529
Joined: Sat Jun 19, 2004 12:46 am
Location: Earth Roots, Dub Space
  • E-mail
  • Website
Top

Postby Gordon Neill » Sun Apr 06, 2008 6:46 pm

I don't think the maths is that simple. I suspect that many/most/all of the recent departees will return at some point. I hope so. But that's up to them. I dare say they will have a variety of reasons for their decisions which won't fit conveniently into a single point of view.

And, having considered, the comments of June and Con, I've changed my mind on the benefits of continuing to air disagreements in a Forum Decorum section (I think the section could be useful, but not for this). People should be expected to police their own actions. If they can't, a quick PM from Charlie (or other members) should ask them to consider retracting abusive comments. If they won't, then the comments should be removed anyway. If they persist, then the individual should be removed. All this should be done quickly and quietly. It's not a spectator sport.

Rather than rake over the past, I would have thought it was better to focus on the future and for everyone to play to the whistle. The refs. is in the best position to know all the information. He's made a decision. That's all I need to know.
Gordon Neill
 
Posts: 2249
Joined: Mon Aug 09, 2004 1:00 pm
Location: up the Bongos without a paddle
  • E-mail
Top

Postby Nigel w » Sun Apr 06, 2008 6:54 pm

I hope you don't mean that, Jonathan. I've enjoyed your contributions to this forum (and your private messages to me, also!). Please don't go - but please also let Charlie resolve matters in the best way he thinks fit. He's a wily old diplomat on the quiet, believe me...

Charlie wrote:

The particular point I am hoping to get across is that if anybody feels that somebody else is out of order in their language or attitude, the complaint should be registered in the Forum Decorum section, rather than as an angry and probably inflamatory 'reply' to the offending post.


At the risk of falling into that dangerous habit of seeing both sides of an argument, I'm now beginning to have second thoughts about how this would work. It seemed sensible and logical, but I now take the points made by June, Con and others : it might just be inviting trouble to have some sort of official 'sin bin' where we can all complain and whinge about each other. To continue the sporting analogy used by others, might it not be an invitation to people to dive under a perfectly fair tackle in the hope of winning an undeserved penalty?

I don't know and I don't really have a better idea. Unless it's an area called trolls and piranhas, where we can put the piranhas in a digital ducking stool like the witches of old and put the trolls in a virtual version of the old village stocks and throw on-line rotten fruit (emoticons, probably) at them...
Nigel w
 
Posts: 1410
Joined: Tue Nov 21, 2006 8:05 pm
Top

Re: Well, thank fuck for that!

Postby Charlie » Sun Apr 06, 2008 6:55 pm

CantSleepClownsWillGetMe wrote: Or to reach a mutual agreement, as Des and Nikki have sensibly done (in private!).

In trying to be concise, I have been misleading. There has been no communication off-air between Nikki & Des, but between each of them and myself, separately. Nikki is still not intending to come back, and I'm not sure the clock could ever be turned back to enable that to happen. So there didn't seem much point in keeping Des off the field of play to clear it for somebody else to come back on who wasn't intending to (for reasons unrelated to this particular exchange). You see how complicated it gets....

Can'tSleepWithClowns,TheyKeepMeAwake wrote:I would suggest, rather than doing the online equivalent of sending someone 'into the corner', like unruly schoolchildren, that a brief PM be sent to them instead. After all, the last thing we want to see on here is anyone being publicly humiliated.

June

Very valid, but this assumes and requires me to be (a) an all-seeing eye and (b) always correct in my judgment.

(a) I do not follow every twist and turn of every thread as they occur, and sometimes people need to draw attention to unseemly behaviour.

(b) I still welcome your input, collectively and, in this case, individually - June, you have made more than once made welcome interventions by acting as an assistant referee or as the fourth official, not sure which anolagy applies.
Charlie
Site Admin
 
Posts: 6163
Joined: Fri May 28, 2004 5:09 pm
  • Website
Top

Postby Tom McPhillips » Sun Apr 06, 2008 9:38 pm

Profundity Alert!!!


Teacups have the worst storms





so be careful whom you steep with....
Tom McPhillips
 
Posts: 811
Joined: Wed Jul 21, 2004 2:22 am
Location: in the Susquehana Valley
  • Website
Top

Postby Ian M » Mon Apr 07, 2008 12:01 am

Please! Can we have an end to the bloodletting and recriminations. Des has apologised to Nikki in public, so could we please allow that to be a full stop on the whole matter. I propose a moratorium on the whole issue - no further discussion of who said what, who was at fault, what who should do etc etc (ad nauseam), and no referring to it. I am sure Charlie's head is spinning with all of these PMs flying about (none of which I am party to) and the lingering fall out here.

Let's call this, in the best spirit of punk, Year Zero. Whatever happened is now gone and eradicated from the collective memory of this forum. From tomorrow everybody, especially including all those who have disappeared, has a clean slate and will only be responsible for their future behaviour. No looking back.

In future, we should have a simple set of rules for the benefit of all. They should be only what you would expect if Charlie asked you round and you sat in his kitchen while various others came and wet, chatting about music and their various enthusiasms. Some you know, many you know a little, most of them not at all. Your behaviour there shouldn't be any different from here. That is to say, you would expect to be civil and courteous, tolerant of a wide variety of opinions, and respect those you might disagree with. Inappropriate behaviour not tolerated would be swearing, innuendo, insults or personal attacks. Any member feeling subject to inappropriate behaviour should refer the offender to this simple set of rules giving them the opportunity to withdraw their remark, or refer it to Charlie, who can delete the post or the thread; what they should not do is reply in kind, as this generates a chain reaction where others get involved and it escalates out of control.

So if we could agree to that, we can move on. I don't expect all those who have left will immediately come back, but if we can get back to normal, with the added safety valve of some simple guidelines, then they are more likely to return in their own time, seeing a lively and enjoyable place to be (once again). But please, enough of the endless wallowing in self-recrimination. Let's get back to the music and the banter. Whaddya say?
Ian M
 
Posts: 547
Joined: Thu Jan 06, 2005 4:42 pm
Location: London
  • E-mail
Top

Postby Dayna » Mon Apr 07, 2008 12:08 am

I whole heartedly agree with Ian!

I feel so numb...
Dayna
 
Posts: 5168
Joined: Fri Jun 30, 2006 4:58 pm
Location: Ohio,USA
  • E-mail
  • Website
Top

Postby Tom McPhillips » Mon Apr 07, 2008 12:10 am

Ian M sagely recommended wrote:You would expect to be civil and courteous, tolerant of a wide variety of opinions, and respect those you might disagree with. Inappropriate behaviour not tolerated would be swearing, innuendo, insults or personal attacks. Any member feeling subject to inappropriate behaviour should refer the offender to this simple set of rules giving them the opportunity to withdraw their remark, or refer it to Charlie, who can delete the post or the thread; what they should not do is reply in kind, as this generates a chain reaction where others get involved and it escalates out of control.



Ian, that puts it in a nutshell! Why not put that prominently in the Forum Decorum, and refer newcomers there, to read before they post - it says everything so well.
Tom McPhillips
 
Posts: 811
Joined: Wed Jul 21, 2004 2:22 am
Location: in the Susquehana Valley
  • Website
Top

Postby Ted » Mon Apr 07, 2008 12:11 am

Ian M wrote:Whaddya say?


You and me. Outside. Now.
Ted
 
Posts: 2219
Joined: Mon Feb 21, 2005 5:26 pm
Location: Hackney, East Of Java
  • E-mail
  • Website
Top

Previous

Post a reply
27 posts • Page 2 of 2 • 1, 2

Return to Forum Decorum

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest

  • Board index
  • The team • Delete all board cookies • All times are UTC [ DST ]
© 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group