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Re: Playground songs

PostPosted: Fri Feb 03, 2012 10:24 pm
by NormanD
Blimey, you doing a PhD, Jamie??

All I can contribute is:

Ole King Cole was a merry ole soul
And a merry ole soul was he.
He called for a light
In the middle of the night
To go to the lavatory.
The moon shone through the keyhole
The candle had a fit
And ole King Cole
Fell down the hole
And swallowed a lump of shit

"The moon shone through the keyhole
The candle had a fit" - Tom Waits, anyone?

Re: Playground songs

PostPosted: Sat Feb 04, 2012 2:06 am
by Adam Blake
My sainted aunt taught me this at a tender age:

"Oh my name is little Lily
I'm a tart in Piccadilly
And my mother is another in the Strand
And my brother sells his arse'ole
down the Elephant and Castle
We're the finest fucking family in the land"

She also taught me an obscene version of "Oh dear, what can the matter be":

"Oh dear what can the matter be
Three old ladies locked in the lavatory
They've been there from Monday to Saturday
Nobody knew they were there

The first was the Bishop of Buckingham's daughter
She went to get rid of a pint and a quarter
The bishop he sought her and sought her and sought her
But nobody knew she was there


The next was a Mrs Elizabeth Spender
Who only went in to adjust her suspender
But then it got caught in the feminine gender
But nobody knew she was was there


The last was a Mrs Violet Humphrey
Who sat on the seat but could not get her bum free
She said: 'It's alright cos I'm really quite comfy'
And nobody knew she was there"


She also taught me these:

"Lottie Collins lost her drawers
Would you kindly lend her yours
For to keep the draft away


"Red stains on the carpet,
Red stains on the stairs
Where Dr Buck Ruxton
Cut his wife up in squares

Then down came the housemaid
And swore she would tell
So Dr Buck Ruxton
Cut her up as well."

My family was different...

Re: Playground songs

PostPosted: Sun Feb 05, 2012 12:23 am
by Jamie Renton
Norman: I had plans to play "Sixpence" and a reggae version of "Shaving Cream" ( at Jamboree the other week, but somehow didn't get the chance.

Adam: I didn't know there were verses to that version of "Oh Dear..." and laughed like a drain on reading them.

My granny used to recite this poem to me:
"Mary had a baby
Dressed in green
Mary didn't like it
She gave it to the queen
The queen didn't like it
Because it was so fat
So she chopped it up in little bits
And fed it to the cat"

We had good wholesome poetry in those days, not like now with all those violent rappers.

Re: Playground songs

PostPosted: Tue Aug 05, 2014 8:52 pm
by rogerf
My father taught me the following doggerel:

Once upon a time
When the birds ate lime
And the monkeys chewed tobacco
A little piggy run
With a feather up its bum
To see what was the matter

Anyone else remember this or was it just a family thing?